One day last week, I decided to take my face off social media, and the ensuing commotion (and also massive amounts of support) has been kind of overwhelming.
Being a writer first and foremost, I thought the best way to make sense of it was to write down the details of my decision because an Instagram caption cannot really capture what I wanted to say.
WHAT CAUSED THE COMMOTION?
(I WANTED TO WRITE ANOTHER WORD BEGING WITH S AND ENDING IN STORM BUT WE’RE PG FAMILY FRIENDLY AROUND HERE!)
You may have noticed that I have taken down all pictures showing my face. . Reading 5 ayahs of the Quran every day is changing me but I am still a vain sinner. . So for now, I will be sharing photos of my outfits just not my face. . This may change as I go deeper but this is my decision for now. . As for YouTube, I've taken down and deleted all my videos as I try and figure out how to make videos without showing my face. . My privacy is becoming incredibly important to me but I do question how I can be a beauty blogger without a face to the name. . I hope you can bear with me as I go through this journey of semi-anonymity and if you have suggestions on how to blog and vlog whilst maintaining privacy please do share them with me. . Best, Humaira x
SO WHAT CAUSED THE COMMOTION?
Personally I think it was these 2 sentences:
So, let’s discuss:
The reason I mentioned the way reading our Holy Book, the Quran has changed me?
My journey into faith is a very personal one, but I have been lost and drowning for a LONG time. I can’t remember the last time I felt something in prayer and this is hard to admit as I outwardly look Muslim, especially as a head scarf wearing woman, but inside my spiritual life has taken a nose dive after marriage.
I can’t pinpoint why because I used to be much more spiritual before marriage, suffering the peaks and troughs of the dip in faith as we all do. BUT, the thing I longed for (marriage) finally happened, so I wasn’t sure what to ask for next (yes, I’m asking for the obvious but that’s another story).
Marriage itself (not just my husband), was a lot harder than I anticipated. Add in moving away from home, job stress, ill health and the battles with fertility that resulted in me having a Stroke (Yup, I will talk about that at some point), it hasn’t exactly been easy for the last 4 years.
And I just wanted to share with the Instagram friends that I was going through a spiritual journey, and I wanted to take my face out of it because reading the Quran with tafsir (understanding the context of the verses revealed) has been a life changing moment for me. To really understand what Allah wants from the believers, the behaviours and characteristics I had currently been sadly lacking.
I finally figured out my destination, and I was rerouting the GPS!
The second sentence which says I can’t be a beauty blogger without showing my face is sadly true.
So, rather than feel sad and basically cave in, I decided that more than just beauty, this will become what I always wanted Humairak to be, a personal lifestyle blog.
Sadly, this means I will be giving up YouTube as when I really analysed my intentions, I figured that the amount of time it takes me to film, edit, upload and promote a single video was taking me away from my spiritual journey.
BUT WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH TAKING YOUR FACE OFF THE INTERNET WOMAN?!
I essentially took my face off because I was noticing, the more I posted pictures of my face and body, even with my husband by my side, I was getting increasingly negative attention from males wanting to make “good friendship, OK?”, and I know Nazar (Evil Eye) is a real thing (TRUST ME, YOU NEVER WANT TO FEEL IT’S EFFECTS OK?)
So, I decided to just take my face off social media, and the pressure to be perfect in every snap because truly I am not.
My social media will change as now you cannot make assumptions about me based on my face. I feel like I can breathe and really talk about some issues that are close to my heart without fear.
We’ll see how long this lasts as I may cave or go completely off the grid, who knows?!
If you made it to the end of my long, rambly post thanks for sticking by me and let’s see where this journey leads us!